On Finding Community

A couple days ago, I found myself sitting in a courtyard, holding a baby whom I didn’t know yet still taking joy in watching her squirm and gurgle in my arms, celebrating her life though I didn’t even know her parents. I was in Mexico working at an orphanage, I had been an intern there the past summer and came back to work with the babies after a couple months at home. One of the staff ladies had invited me to a baby shower for her daughter-in-law which was where I sat holding her newly-born granddaughter. As I sat in that courtyard, I thought about community. In a small town like the one I was living in, everyone knew everyone and sometimes I felt so distant and strange to things happening around me. Yet other times, I felt so included and close. The question is, how does community form? What is community? Can I be apart of a “community” even when I wasn’t born into it? How long does it take for “community” to form? How can I know that I am apart of a “community”? How do I know when I go from being an outsider to an insider in a culture? I am not an expert and I certainly don’t know how to answer all these questions, but as I have found community in the people around me, I seek to share my musings on how relationship is formed. For the purpose of this article I am going to define “community” as ‘a group of people with whom you have relationship, share life with and find identity’.

Musing #1: Community is found through faithfulness.
I think community is found when we return to places. I found this to be true when I came first to this orphanage in Mexico. I was thirteen. I developed relationship (even over the span of a week) and left for a year. But I came back the next year, and the next and the next and then for the whole summer and now I live and work here with people that I consider family. When I was here for the summer and I walked through the village market, I saw people who I had known from years past of visiting there. That was a gift that I was able to experience because I returned. I think this is one of the keys to finding community. Be faithful to return to the same place… coffee shop, orphanage, church, grocery store, bank, restaurant, etc.

Musing #2: Community is dependent on you.
You could be born, live and die in the same place but still not have community. I think finding community is dependent on how much you put into it. I am a rather shy, laid back person and I don’t like to pour out a bunch of personal information to just anyone, but I find that the people who I share the most with are the people I am most close to. I think community can be found through faithfulness and persistent work (see musing #1) but I also think it can happen in just a moment. Ever had that moment where you are casually chatting with someone and you find you have something in common and you are fast friends in the matter of a couple minutes? This is what I mean in that it can take a short amount of time. Relationships take work, especially in this age of smart phones and social media, you can know a lot of people without having relationship. My mom always said, “It takes two to tangle”. I believe it also takes two people to keep a good relationship going. Are there seasons where we fight for community with someone even though they don’t respond? Yes, I have done that and the fruit of that can be a resurrected friendship. But a healthy relationship takes two people working hard.

Musing #3: Community can be found.
This musing is more of an encouragement than a thought and the encouragement is that you can find community. Maybe sometimes you feel so disconnected, so alone, that it seems like this isn’t true. God made us for community though, He told Adam in the garden, “It is not good that man should be alone.” I want to encourage you that community is readily available, just remember the things I wrote above, be faithful and put work into it. I was blessed to be born into an amazing Christian family with whom I find much of my community. I realize that not everyone has this opportunity. Maybe your family is broken, divided or just non-existent. The same God who told us it is not good to be alone came down to be apart of a community, so that He could be your Father. You can always find community in Him (in fact we all should) and if you have trusted your life into His hands then you are apart of the body of Christ. This community can be found all over the world, and it will never be broken, though the gates of hell may stand against. Be encouraged.

I guess this is where I end this (hopefully eloquently). As I sat in the courtyard of a strangers house, celebrating a new life with people I didn’t know, these are the thoughts that came to my mind. May they bless you as you seek to cultivate community and relationship with those around you.
Sincerely,
Priscilla